[Shaun]

For the fifth round Eoin had transported forward roughly 20 years - the technology, the appearance and the interactivity had all drastically improved - he noticed that several other players had popped up from all around the world in this so called 'Wii Arena', a derivation, he assumed, from the Nintendo Wii games; he wasn't particularly a fan, but assumed it'd be easy enough to get the hang of.

He noticed he'd been assigned a character, and as he hovered over her, she waved. He instantly recognised her as Stephanie. Suddenly a little green ugly user came up to her and he popped up a message.

"You, little Stephanii Tits, shall Lose to me in Tennis.
Park it like it's Hot." arista announced, in what is sure to be his next catchphrase. Eoin stood back and realised that this entire level was controlled by his body, and just as Karl posted a thread saying "my wrists cane!" (with a message saying "but not because of Wii "), he began this tennis match.

The court was empty except for one solitary man who had a face that strongly resembled Jareth the Goblin King, as Stephanie eased her way into a 1 set lead over her opponent. Arista then began to set up some obstacles in Eoin's path, such as shelf units with priceless Fabergé eggs atop them, which he tried his best to avoid swinging into but damaged 2 and perhaps UK-Russian relations forever. The distractions ensured that arista clawed to victory in the second set - before both of them were joined by a second player.

Into Eoin's gaming room stepped a boy with Aqua on his iPod.
"Hello Eoin, I'll be playing today as Harrii" he announced, as Eoin cringed a little and waved awkwardly. "Would you like to listen to my music?" he offered, which Eoin politely but quickly declined.
"Let's just beat this hulk freak" he suggested, to which Harry nodded solemnly and pulled an extremely serious expression - picking up a controller and suddenly pulling out all of these superb athletic tennis moves. Arista's companion, WOMBII, was unable to keep up with the two younger males, and soon stormed off of the court in a John McEnroe style of strops.


Stephanii in red, Harrii in green, arista in yellow, WOMBII in light green.

"You untrustworthy Harlot." arista barked, as he vaporised her with a beam.
Eoin and Harry exchanged frightened glances but realised they'd already won the game.
"Yes, Yes, Well done." arista moaned in an autotune ("Judas", the debut single, out Monday x) "But you have to Bowl and Box me First,
Mister Eoin Semen."

Harry looked a little taken aback before Eoin explained that these sexual references were commonplace with this saucy villain, and shook Eoin's hand to say goodbye - he'd earned his freedom. Before Eoin could wonder why on Earth Harry got to play as himself and he had to play as Stephanie, he was in a boxing ring.
"Surely boxing a girl is a bit wrong, arista?" he sighed, as arista planted a left hook square on her jaw. Stephanie, distracted and a little bit dazed, made a thread to announce she was leaving because she was fed up with being abused by TiBB's older men, before Eoin commanded her to block arista's right jab - she then planted an uppercut right underneath his chin - arista bit his tongue.

"Ouch, you Sexy Minx." he stuttered, his tongue a little numb, before dodging her swipes and slapping her in the face.
"This is boxing, you big girl!" she cried, before headbutting him square on the nose. A cascade of blood fell and arista disintegrated. Eoin and Stephanie had won their second of three sporting events.

"Right, you evil Jezebel, and Eoin cock, I shall Bowl you into the Gutter.
Life in the Bowling Lane" he taunted, having provided the narrator with a brilliant piece of wordplay.
Stephanie wasn't particularly brilliant at bowling - she'd always use the black guiding things at the alleys - but Eoin was thankfully better thanks to mastering the Targets game. (He has the high score for that, right? Surely.)
After the first 5 shots - Stephanie had mustered 4 strikes and a spare. Arista had 2 strikes, 2 spares and missed the other shot entirely because he hurled the bowling ball at someone who thought Live at Studio Five was "a bit shit".

"Be gone with you, Heathen." he cried, having got in a David Bowie album title.
"Are we going to bowl or what?" Eoin sighed, as Stephanie added "yeah, come on, you Space Oddity!"
"What did you just call Me, you Diamond Dog?" the bot retaliated, before the bowling alley workers got fed up and yelled "THE RISE AND FALL OF ZIGGY STARDUST AND THE SPIDERS FROM MARS. NOW FUCKING BOWL."

They did. And because writing about bowling is quite dull, Eoin and Stephanie were victorious. Stephanie joined the long list of free users - selling an autobiography about her boxing ordeal and becoming something of a hero around the Sport forum - and Eoin levelled up.

[Z]

That was good!

[Harry!]

Yey a TiBB story of which I dont die in my debut chapter! Great story this is Shaun! Been reading it

[Niall]

These are awesome Shaun. :')

[Iceman]

Stephanie, distracted and a little bit dazed, made a thread to announce she was leaving because she was fed up with being abused by TiBB's older men

awesome and yes I do have the targets score

[Tom4784]

Rofl the David Bowie bit.

[Stephanie]

LMAO

that was awesome.

[Benjamin]

Originally Posted by Harry!

Yey a TiBB story of which I dont die in my debut chapter! Great story this is Shaun! Been reading it

And you were set free. I'm still stuck in marioland.


But haha at this, I especially loved the bit about Stephanie being slapped and then headbutting.

[Shaun]

The screen had returned to a much smaller, much more rudimentary game - and Ash (yes, TiBB Ash, remember her?) was stood outside of a little house. Eoin moved her around - this game at first seemed a little boring, but he of course knew of the endless delights that were to come. Ash ventured into some tall grass to the north of her hometown, before Legendkiller came running after her.

"No! It's dangerous to go alone! Come with me!" he squealed, dragging her off into a giant laboratory at the bottom of the town. Inside was MrGaryy (this is too easy) who, wearing a fetch purple top, was tutting and rolling his eyes in impatience.
"Yah nice of you both to join us bitchez, now what did you want? xo" the sexually ambiguous rival of Ash reeled, as he began filing his nails.
"TAKE A BALL. YOU HAVE BEEN EDUCATED " the old professor lectured before disappearing into a puff of smoke.
"Well, that was weird..." MrGaryy began.
"You think that's weird? He had to ask me at the start of the level what your name was." Ash chuckled, before MrGaryy dramatically took a ball - exposing UKSquirtle.
"Oh, it's a tortoise thing," he sighed, "but whatevs. Pick a ball and lets fight slut xo" he said in the little dialogue box, accompanied by an emoticon of Regina George from Mean Girls.

"Bloody fag" Eoin sighed.

"Um...I'll take this one." Ash announced, revealing Karlmander, a small red lizard with a flame at the end of its tail.
"Ugh, yours looks fiercer. Bitch." MrGaryy sighed as he commanded UKSquirtle to go over and tackle Karlmander. Karl was momentarily distracted since he thought he recognised MrGaryy from somewhere, before getting knocked to the ground. He retaliated with a scratch, which if you think about it is a really shitty move against a fucking turtle, but it did a significant amount of damage. This series of primitive moves was repeated until UKSquirtle collapsed out of exhaustion - Ash had won.
"Whatever, you look like a dyke in that denim jacket anyway." MrGaryy pounced away, flicking a dime at her.

"A fictional currency in a Japanese game set in the UK, and you go for dimes?" Eoin wondered out loud.
"Yes, the Yank Dollar is Everywhere, Cockknob Eoin." arista boomed.

Ash wandered through grass and came across various other towns. Along her journey she caught herself a Catzippy, which had since evolved into a butterfly (still called Zippy for the purposes of not overcomplicating things), a Psytacey (a confused little duck with psychotic tendencies), a Judasdude (a tough rock that had since evolved into a bigger tough rock) and a Pattata that had since evolved into Patrickate.

"These puns are just awful." Eoin mused.
"Fuck off, Eoin, we're trying our best." arista announced with an alarming lack of soundbites or innuendo.

Ash had conquered several gyms now and had acquired some pretty little forum awards. She was just on her way to Celadon City when two hooligans blocked her path.



"To protect the world from devastation," the male announced.
"To unite all people within our forum," the female responded.
"That doesn't rhyme..." Ash interrupted.
"KAZZIE." the girl squealed.
"James." the boy sighed.
A small cat came up behind them as they finished their odd little greeting.
"Markowth...no I'm sorry, this name just isn't working for me." he pondered for a moment.
"How about Meoark?" Kazzie offered.
"No no, that's far too much of a stretch" James interjected.

Ash ignored the three squabbling and walked past them into the city. Here she purchased many items with the prize money she'd acquired, and ran into MrGaryy again.
"Oh, wow, still wearing the same clothes. Qt." he announced with a patronising glare. "Let's see if you can win again!" he cried, throwing out his UKSquirtle - only it had evolved, into a Jordstortle.
Karl had undergone his own evolution into Karlmeleon, and was now able to project flames. Jords however quickly doused them with jets of water, and Karl was particularly susceptible to the element. He had just finished rolling a joint when Jords got it all wet with a bubblebeam - Karl began crying; it was his last eighth. He fainted.
"Ha, bow down bitchez" MrGaryy began, before Ash sent out Zippy to psybeam the shit out of Jords. It didn't last long, and soon Zippy was up against MrGaryy's MichaelSpearow, who pecked aimlessly at Zippy's antennae and soon collapsed in a wail of hysteria. MrGaryy finally sent out Growlivia, a firey little bitch who set Zippy on fire and bit into Patrickate's face. However she was no match for Psytacey's violent outbursts; first being lulled to sleep by her and then being doubleslapped to smithereens.

"You really are an obnoxious little fail." MrGaryy cried and ran away.
Ash was now free to take down the Team Rocket TiBB Towers - she entered the skyscraper and began ascending; she got bored of defeating these drones' and trolls' koffings.
"Dirty Smokers, they Die Easily." Arista observed.

Ash finally reached the top, where Kazzie, James and the currently unnamed talking cat were taken aback by this intruder.
"WHY ARE YOU DOING [insert evil deed for plot device] TO ALL OF THESE HELPLESS POKEMON." Ash wimpered, before Mark launched at her and scratched her face.
"BECAUSE YOU LEFT THE MODERATOR TEAM." James announced, before he and Kazzie sent out Ynnus (a snake whose name was spelt backwards) and Siazing (a floaty, volatile monster).
After Karl quickly dispatched Ynnus with a fire blast he evolved into Karlizard, a giant dragon with really cool stuff and ****. Yeah. However Siazing then exploded due to a lack of attention and knocked him out, leaving Mark to fight against Ash's remaining team. He headbutted Psytacey and permabanned Judasdude but when up against Patrickate he came undone. Patrick ran at him with a hyper fang.
"WHY HAVEN'T YOU MADE THE NEW SKIN YET YOU USELESS BASTARDS" he screeched, as the team of admin ran from the building in a fleet of panic.

The pokemon theme music sounded, and a little pop-up window announced that Eoin had completed the level. With this haul came the greatest number of freed members: Livia, Zippy, Patrick, Stacey., Judas, ukturtle, Karl, Jords, Ash, MrGaryy, James, Mark, Kaz, Sunny, SiaSiaSia and MichaelSpears all ran for their freedom.

"Yes, Well Done. But you Cannot Beat my team of Sexy Fighters, the Brotherhood." arista cackled, giving you all a nice little teaser for the final level of tib8bit.

[Stephanie]

Originally Posted by Shaun

"WHY HAVEN'T YOU MADE THE NEW SKIN YET YOU USELESS BASTARDS" he screeched, as the team of admin ran from the building in a fleet of panic.

[Tom4784]

Ah I loved this one. Patrickate

[Z]

Amazing!

[Niall]

Brilliant. :')

[Iceman]

[Josy]

[Vicky.]

[Benjamin]

LMFAO, I have just read this.

[Iceman]

I think the next episode is the last (hopes for a return series)

[Shaun]

It was the final level. The sky outside had turned a deep amber; thunderous clouds loomed overhead ominously and the occasional crack of lightning made Eoin jump. He almost heard arista's laughs in the accompanying booms, but shrugged them off - he'd come this far and wasn't ready to throw it all away thanks to some nervous jitters. Just as he began to wonder just who would be left - a dragon medallion began to spin on the screen. It froze in a horizontal position and dramatic music began. Shortly after, a Capcom logo came up and announced that Street Fighter was a game to be played.

"Ohay," announced a middle-aged Scottish woman who took her seat alongside Eoin in the gaming room, "the name's Linda ya weegie".
"As in lily.?" he gasped in disbelief.
"Ah, ye ken aye!" she squealed in a crude representation of written Scottish slang that the narrator is not at all familiar with. "Time to kick Brotherhood arse lol."

Before this had time to sink in - Eoin himself had once been part of the vast homoerotic enterprise - a crude 8-bit depiction of Novo and Locke dressed as Ryu and Ken came up on screen.

"Ah, he's too pretty to kill," lily. sighed as she picked Shu Kang.
Eoin looked a little bit confused until he realised there was a group of playable characters to choose from. He chose a black man with metal arms, called Jam. A rather serious but slightly melodramatic screen then popped up with the RPG forms of Shaun and LemonJam trying their best to look threatening towards Novo and Locke.

Another screen then loaded - and the two teams were stood facing each other, a couple of yards apart, in a deserted windy street. Newspapers flew past and in the background purple smoke was engulfing what looked like the Hudson river. Arista's voice boomed:
"Fight!"

Novo launched forward and backflipped over Locke's body, landing with a lunging kick to Shu Kang's stomach. Jam retaliated by launching an uppercut, sending Novo flying back in the other direction. Locke suddenly yelled "Hadouken!" and Damaris started a thread about the little-known scenester band of the same name. Locke's command had suddenly conjured a blue ectoplasmic ball to hurtle towards Jamm - but Shu Kang had got up and sent a red flame in the opposite direction with a loud "Hraaaaa!" squeal. The two blasts cancelled each other out and Novo again used Locke's back to launch into a spinning air kick - which caught Jam on the chin. Shu Kang launched into a bicycle kick which pinned Locke against an invisible wall (I never got that...)

"The Zeta days are over, you bunch of puffs" Novo taunted.
"AT LEAST WE WE'RE OPEN WITH OUR SEXUALITY!" Jam screeched before slapping him in the face.

Both Jamm and Locke were in dire straits - when Novo made the mistake of trying to uppercut Jam. He blocked it, and suddenly began to pound Novo into the ground with his solid titanium arms. Arista boomed "Finish them!" at which point Jam's arms morphed into some elongated blades. He tossed Novo into the air like some salad and began lacerating him into body parts in a particularly gruesome fashion - whilst Shu Kang began to pray and suddenly disappeared - reappearing in a violent flame which burned Locke and reduced him to bones.

Youtube video

"Piece of piss," lily. cackled, "though I hope we haven't really just killed them."
"No. They will be Safe. Watch out for them Junkies." arista announced - as Stu and Karl skipped outside terrorising TiBB newbies with gifs of lesbians.

For round two lily. picked Lindel in a fit of egotism and Eoin picked Jenya; secretly harbouring a desire to see her in scantily clad attire. They were in turn pitched against Lauren-li, a young Chinese schoolgirl with massive thighs, and since Street Fighter was gay and only had one female character, Annieka, who was more beast than human anyway so it's still a bit of a femfest.

The male contingent of TiBB (well, the heterosexual ones, so about 30% of them) all began to make quarrelling threads about which of the four babes was the hottest. As furious as these debates were, they were no rival for the ferocity in which the battle itself was fought. Lindel used her massive mound of grey hair to whip Annieka into submission, before levitating into the air and kicking her in the face. Lauren-li retaliated by launching a lightning-fast series of kicks at Jenya, leaving the poor Irish girl dazed and confused. She soon recovered, and, bizarrely, sent an air-kiss towards Annieka; which turned out to be a purple haze (lolol jimi hendrix reference) of nerve gas; leaving the Scot immobile. Jenya took advantage of this by sending a trio of pink rings flying towards her - knocking off her pants.

Lauren-li was faring much better than her beastly companion; she'd defied gravity numerous times by spinning, upside-down, mid-air, towards Lindel with a series of well-timed kicks. Lindel then retaliated by inexplicably breathing jets of blue flames towards the schoolgirl, which burned off her clothes in a revealing manner. Just when Patrick had passed out due to wanking-exhaustion - Annieka electrocuted Jenya and Lindel punched Lauren-li through the ceiling; transporting them all to a spooky lair lit by flaming torches. Jenya finished the battle by tripping up Annieka quite ungraciously. Arista once again shouted "Finish them!" - at which point Lindel spun Annieka around with her hair so fast that she illogically exploded. Jenya then sent another purple plasma kiss towards Lauren-li, which surrounded her and then crushed her into dust.

Youtube video

For the final fight, Raidean and Gregoro were picked for the heroes. As two of the most important characters in the game, they were a fitting choice for the final. Fighting on behalf of the Brotherhood were Remy (dressed in spandex and a metal mask, with claws) and andyman (a military man with a giant cape and hat). They were pitted against each other atop a narrow walkway, high above a spike-pit.

Raidean immediately flew head-first into Remy, knocking his mask off. Remy spat in a typical French sign of contempt, swiping at Dean's face and knocking off his hat. Andyman meanwhile was wearing some gloves that elicited some kind of special power - which he put to good use by flooring Gregoro. Since Gregoro was roughly 3 times the size of any other competitor, and in possession of four arms, this was no mean feat. He soon found his feet however, and grabbed Remy with two arms; pummelling him with his other two. Raidean helped whittle away Remy's health by sending bursts of electricity towards him - but was suddenly kicked up into the air by andyman. Remy broke free and began climbing up some metal fences, before pulling off some beautiful acrobatic kicks to Gregoro's back that made little impact.

Andyman tried his best to smash into the giant Gregoro but it seemed like he was two men himself. What with Raidean's teleporting ability the fight was futile, and arista was defeated. He reluctantly announced "Finish them!" and Raidean electrocuted Remy. Gregoro simply ripped andyman apart, putting an end to the rumours of his whereabouts. Arista entered the gaming room where lily. and Eoin were sat - and took off his hulk mask.

"I feel like I've been Rickrolled or something," lily. stammered.
"I give Up. You can Keep your TiBB young Irish-cock Eoin." arista declared, giving no real insight into why this story had just happened.
"Erm, okay..." Eoin offered, before arista left the room with his head held in shame. Shaun, LemonJam, Novo, Locke, lily., Jen, Annie, Lauren, Zee, Dezzy, Captain.Remy and andyman were given their freedom.

The world outside returned to normal. It was a sunny April afternoon, and Stacey. was still sat inside. The website began to die a slow death with everyone's return to peace, and after James' unsuccessful attempt at a Pink Floyd song competition, he resumed his post as admin. Eoin left the site and sold his story to Piers Morgan's Life Stories, and was quickly heralded as a hero. A series of computer games about his experience with arista were produced - and he naturally completed them with a dazzling high score.

[Vicky.]

Originally Posted by Shaun

It was a sunny April afternoon, and Stacey. was still sat inside.

[Tom4784]

Rofl at the Patrick bit. I loved this story.

[Shaun]

I've finally finished a story <3

[Iceman]

haha I love it all from start to finish! great read. Also Jen

[Tom4784]

I'm ferocious.

Youtube video

*adapts thunder puns and strange high pitched gibberish as my only form of communication*

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

Originally Posted by Shaun

It was a sunny April afternoon, and Stacey. was still sat inside