[Jake.]

'Julian Clary was the star in the best-ever Celebrity Big Brother... but will it be good for his career?

Mirror columnist Coleen Nolan also done well in pipping "father of the house" Martin Kemp into third place.

A fabulous end to a fine series as triumphant Julian Clary told his vast army of Celebrity Big Brother fans: “You’ve made a 53 year-old homosexual very happy.”

Bit of a surprise winner. The big money was on “father of the house” Martin Kemp .

But the Spandau Ballet man was beaten into third place by worthy runner-up Mirror columnist Coleen Nolan . The girl done well.

Thrilled though for queen of the double entendre Julian, who recalled the horror of being nominated: “It was an awful feeling the idea of being ejaculated from the house.”

Less than thrilled to endure the frightful Julie Goodyear returning to the scene of her many crimes sucking a banana and – of course – chain smoking.

Has anyone told her all those cigarettes might not be good for her?

“I hope I get a cheer,” said the old Corrie battleaxe shortly before the (Bet) lynch mob subjected her to one of the loudest chorus of boos in BB history.

There were two things none of us liked about Ms Goodyear. Her face. That’s why she never had a hope in hell.

But a fun Friday as the final six emerged from Channel 5’s compound of horror after 24 days of pure entertainment packed with golden moments…

Poisonous stick insect Jasmin Lennard ’s hilarious horridness.

Non-prostitute Danica playing the field and working pretend prince Lorenzo and The Situation into a jealous frenzy.

Conniving Julie convincing herself no-one would see through her blatantly obvious game.

Martin Kemp telling MC Harvey it was OK to show a woman some of your backside but not all of it…

It was all too deliciously absurd

But when all’s said and done the true beauty of this contest for showbiz desperados is the epic scale of the delusion.

“I’ve just been myself,” said Team GB non-medal winner Ashley McKenzie . Yes, Ash… and therein lay your problem.

“I came into to the house,” added judo’s top nonentity. “And everyone was like ‘who the hell is he?’"

Sadly, when he left the house the story hadn’t changed.

Anyway, congratulations again Mr Clary. You were a star player in the best-ever CBB.

But will it be good for your career?

Don’t bank on it…'

From The Mirror... and he hasn't been positive about BB for quite a while if I recall.