[Arneldo]

Its not even just the whole me fancying a mate thing now, I've just been thinking a lot, perhaps too much. I thought I was proud and confident with who I was, but recently Ive realised I'm not. I know I'm gay, and I cant change that but recently I've jst felt it would be sooo much easier if I wasnt.

But today I went cinema with my mate, and all I wanted to do was - and this is going to sound sooo stupid, but - hold his hand. Like, just being with him. And I know I'm coming across as sme love-sick-stalker but I cant help it. I've wanted to tell him - so many times, but it wont happen. I physically cant say it to him. I'm too scared that we will just stop being mates all together if I do. I dont think it's a risk I'm willing to take, tbh.

Thanks for the advice peeps. Even though I dont know you all - it already feels good to just got stuff off my chest and have people listen.