[Samm]

Josh Alcorn, a 17-year-old high school student from Warren County, Ohio, starting at the age of four, felt "like a girl trapped in a boy's body." The transgender teenager, who preferred to be known by the name Leelah, revealed her heartbreaking story of her struggle with her parents and gender identity in a suicide note posted on her Tumblr account Sunday. According to the Daily Mail, Alcorn died Sunday after walking in front of a tractor trailer on Ohio's highway 1-71 near her family home.


http://www.opposingviews.com/i/socie...mean-something

SUICIDE NOTE
If you are reading this, it means that I have committed suicide and obviously failed to delete this post from my queue.

Please don’t be sad, it’s for the better. The life I would’ve lived isn’t worth living in… because I’m transgender. I could go into detail explaining why I feel that way, but this note is probably going to be lengthy enough as it is. To put it simply, I feel like a girl trapped in a boy’s body, and I’ve felt that way ever since I was 4. I never knew there was a word for that feeling, nor was it possible for a boy to become a girl, so I never told anyone and I just continued to do traditionally “boyish” things to try to fit in.

When I was 14, I learned what transgender meant and cried of happiness. After 10 years of confusion I finally understood who I was. I immediately told my mom, and she reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn’t make mistakes, that I am wrong. If you are reading this, parents, please don’t tell this to your kids. Even if you are Christian or are against transgender people don’t ever say that to someone, especially your kid. That won’t do anything but make them hate them self. That’s exactly what it did to me.

My mom started taking me to a therapist, but would only take me to christian therapists, (who were all very biased) so I never actually got the therapy I needed to cure me of my depression. I only got more christians telling me that I was selfish and wrong and that I should look to God for help.

When I was 16 I realized that my parents would never come around, and that I would have to wait until I was 18 to start any sort of transitioning treatment, which absolutely broke my heart. The longer you wait, the harder it is to transition. I felt hopeless, that I was just going to look like a man in drag for the rest of my life. On my 16th birthday, when I didn’t receive consent from my parents to start transitioning, I cried myself to sleep.

I formed a sort of a “**** you” attitude towards my parents and came out as gay at school, thinking that maybe if I eased into coming out as trans it would be less of a shock. Although the reaction from my friends was positive, my parents were pissed. They felt like I was attacking their image, and that I was an embarrassment to them. They wanted me to be their perfect little straight christian boy, and that’s obviously not what I wanted.

So they took me out of public school, took away my laptop and phone, and forbid me of getting on any sort of social media, completely isolating me from my friends. This was probably the part of my life when I was the most depressed, and I’m surprised I didn’t kill myself. I was completely alone for 5 months. No friends, no support, no love. Just my parent’s disappointment and the cruelty of loneliness.

At the end of the school year, my parents finally came around and gave me my phone and let me back on social media. I was excited, I finally had my friends back. They were extremely excited to see me and talk to me, but only at first. Eventually they realized they didn’t actually give a **** about me, and I felt even lonelier than I did before. The only friends I thought I had only liked me because they saw me five times a week.

After a summer of having almost no friends plus the weight of having to think about college, save money for moving out, keep my grades up, go to church each week and feel like **** because everyone there is against everything I live for, I have decided I’ve had enough. I’m never going to transition successfully, even when I move out. I’m never going to be happy with the way I look or sound. I’m never going to have enough friends to satisfy me. I’m never going to have enough love to satisfy me. I’m never going to find a man who loves me. I’m never going to be happy. Either I live the rest of my life as a lonely man who wishes he were a woman or I live my life as a lonelier woman who hates herself. There’s no winning. There’s no way out. I’m sad enough already, I don’t need my life to get any worse. People say “it gets better” but that isn’t true in my case. It gets worse. Each day I get worse.

That’s the gist of it, that’s why I feel like killing myself. Sorry if that’s not a good enough reason for you, it’s good enough for me. As for my will, I want 100% of the things that I legally own to be sold and the money (plus my money in the bank) to be given to trans civil rights movements and support groups, I don’t give a **** which one. The only way I will rest in peace is if one day transgender people aren’t treated the way I was, they’re treated like humans, with valid feelings and human rights. Gender needs to be taught about in schools, the earlier the better. My death needs to mean something. My death needs to be counted in the number of transgender people who commit suicide this year. I want someone to look at that number and say “that’s ****ed up” and fix it. Fix society. Please.

Goodbye,

(Leelah) Josh Alcorn

SORRY
And now for my sorry notes to some people I knew…

Amanda: You are going to have such a wonderful life. You are the most talented and pretty little girl I’ve ever met and I love you so much, Amanda. Please don’t be sad. I’m going to miss you so very much. I love you.

Tiffany: We haven’t talked much recently since we’re both so busy but I’m so happy you’re my sister. You are so courageous and determined to achieve what you want, you can accomplish anything. I love you.

Justin: We’ve been jerks to each other a lot recently but I really do love you. You get on my nerves almost all the time but no matter what a part of me will always love you. Sorry for picking on you so much when we were kids.

Rylan: I’m so sorry I’m never there for you. I love you so much.

Abby: Thank you for dealing with my pathetic problems, all I did was make your life harder and I’m sorry.

Mom and Dad: **** you. You can’t just control other people like that. That’s messed up.

I don’t really feel the need to apologize to anyone else… odds are you didn’t give a **** about me and if you do, you did something that made me feel like **** and you don’t deserve an apology.

Also, anyone who says something like “I wish I got to know him better” or “I wish I treated him better” gets a punch in the nose.

This is what his mother said:

Spoiler:

This is so so so sad

Here's the Tumblr page: http://lazerprincess.tumblr.com/

[Firewire]

truly tragic. Her suicide note is so powerful. It's awful she felt she had no choice. Her parents are murderers.

[JoshBB]

Oh my god.. I can't imagine what she (since they identify as female) went through. I really wish that something could have been done to prevent something so tragic. Reading this just made me feel so sad. And his parents are assholes, they should be arrested for emotional abuse or something.

[Firewire]

Originally Posted by JollyBB

Oh my god.. I can't imagine what she (since they identify as female) went through. I really wish that something could have been done to prevent something so tragic. Reading this just made me feel so sad. And his parents are assholes, they should be arrested for emotional abuse or something.

[Loukas]

What a tragedy
R.I.P Leelah

[Ninastar]

this is so sad and her parents should be ashamed of themselves

i just told want tumblr (which will sadly happen) to use this as an EVIL HORRID WHITE CHRISTIANS excuse

it could have happened to anyone, regardless of religion or not

but i definitely agree that her parents should be ashamed

[arista]

Very tragic

[T*]

How heartbreaking

[Crimson Dynamo]

5000 humans died this week on Chinas roads

Life is bleak

[Josy]

Very sad all round but this here stands out

Mom and Dad: **** you. You can’t just control other people like that. That’s messed up.

When she is now responsible for something similar because there clearly wasn't a thought for the poor driver of the truck/tractor who will now have the death of someone else hanging over him for the rest of his life.

[Samm]

Originally Posted by Scrooge

5000 humans died this week on Chinas roads

Life is bleak

um

[Fetch The Bolt Cutters]

Originally Posted by Scrooge

5000 humans died this week on Chinas roads

Life is bleak

what is your actual problem

[Firewire]

Originally Posted by ~HO~HO~HO~

Very sad all round but this here stands out



When she is now responsible for something similar because there clearly wasn't a thought for the poor driver of the truck/tractor who will now have the death of someone else hanging over him for the rest of his life.

Wasn't the best choice of suicide, I must say. But you can't blame her for not thinking it through, she clearly wasn't in a good place mentally due to the emotional abuse she's received for years

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by RoseMcGowan

what is your actual problem

He hasn't got one Scott - he just has a very wicked sense of humour and loves winding people up.

[kirklancaster]

Originally Posted by SelenaSnowmez

Wasn't the best choice of suicide, I must say. But you can't blame her for not thinking it through, she clearly wasn't in a good place mentally due to the emotional abuse she's received for years

And it was emotional abuse, and of the worst kind. The parents are obviously ******* and it's a pity there isn't some kind of test they can give would be parents because pscho monsters like these should be sterilised before they can have children. I really feel for the poor kid.

[Braden]

RIP

[Ninastar]

Originally Posted by kirklancaster

And it was emotional abuse, and of the worst kind. The parents are obviously ******* and it's a pity there isn't some kind of test they can give would be parents because pscho monsters like these should be sterilised before they can have children. I really feel for the poor kid.

totally agree

I've said something about this on here before and people think i'm crazy for it... which i guess i can understand, but still

there is nothing I hate more in this world than ****ty parents who make their children feel 2 inches tall

[Brother Leon]

Sad. Makes me appreciate just how tough my boy is and how he handled his Parents reaction to him coming out. **** it, I'm going to phone him and tell him how ****ing awesome he is.

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Brother Leon

Sad. Makes me appreciate just how tough my boy is and how he handled his Parents reaction to him coming out. **** it, I'm going to phone him and tell him how ****ing awesome he is.

My boy?

[Brother Leon]

Originally Posted by Christmarsh.

My boy?

Close Friend. It's just a way of saying it around here

[Ninastar]

Originally Posted by Brother Leon

Sad. Makes me appreciate just how tough my boy is and how he handled his Parents reaction to him coming out. **** it, I'm going to phone him and tell him how ****ing awesome he is.

[Samm]

Originally Posted by Brother Leon

Sad. Makes me appreciate just how tough my boy is and how he handled his Parents reaction to him coming out. **** it, I'm going to phone him and tell him how ****ing awesome he is.

That's really nice, didn't his parents react well?

[VanessaFeltz.]

It is sad to hear what she went through but at the same time i am happy for her because she is finally free and she is away from disgusting vile people and their stupid mindsets. At least she can sleep peacefully now and who knows maybe she is living an another life or there is something else. But i will remember her as a warrior who was just unlucky.

[Marsh.]

Originally Posted by Brother Leon

Close Friend. It's just a way of saying it around here

Oh right, I thought you had revealed you had a grown up son.

[Headie]

That Facebook post seems like the mother couldn't give two ****s about the death. How sad.