[Arneldo]

...but I really need people to talk some sense into me and I just really need to vent my emotions lol

I've got this mate who I only really got to know in the past year, but in like the past month I've really started to fancy him. It's not even just his looks, its everything. It's gotten to the point where I really cannot get him off my mind. I cant concentrate on anything - no joke. Anyway, I don't want to fancy him at all. I even tried to ignore him so that I would just not be around him but it didn't work at all. I just wanted to be around him more. He is on of my best mates, and one of the first people I told was gay. He is so sound and I would trust him with anything. Anyway - as usual, he's straight and last night we were at a party and he got it on with a girl we know but I just burst into tears. Nobody saw, thank god but I just could not help it. He told once, in is drunken state, that he was bi but I think he said it to make me feel better cause I was very upset at the moment. Last night I needed somebody to talk to about it so I text my mate but she just didn't get how bad it is and all morning shes been gettin me to try and hook him up with the girl he was with - which has again made me cry. I'm never like this ever - and I don't want to fancy him at all.

Argh ...

[Annie]

Aw babe

I dont really know what to say to try and help you as I suck at that kinda thing but just think that you like him as a person and dont push things incase you loose him as a friend as well.

And if he comes out saying hes bi.. get in there

But no man is worth your tears, and the man that is, wont make you cry

[supernoodles!]

It is a tricky situation,only time will make it better.You have no choice but to forget about him then hopefully,if he really is bi and interested then he will come back to you.If not then your better off as friends.You will find someone else to be just as crazy about ,i know you wont think it atm but it will happen

[Conzors]

Awhhhhh.

I dont really know what to say apart from -huggle-.

I think if hes your best mate, yous hould tell him, he would understand. But then he might get the wrong idea and distance himself from you.

Oh i dont know . Sorry this is anoher pointless post but i wanted to share my sympathy, cause i know how you feel.

When you find as man im sure youll get over it, thats what happened to me .

So yeah, good luck with it and hope you feel better soon =] =]
xx

[Jen]

Out of expirence you should tell him how you feel..
BUT you obviously value your friendship a lot and If you don't want to risk losing a brillaint friend I would support what he wants to do.
If you do decide to tell him how you feel you should first find out how he feels about this girl and ask him while he is sober if he actually is Bi.
Again I can see you really like him and you should tell somebody, I know you told you mate but she was not supportive at all. Text someone you trust and will give proper advise.

Although I do recommend you tell him.. it can go either way... but suffering when he is around other girls is not the way for it, it will start to hurt more and may damage your friendship. Everything out in the open is always good.. if he feels the same, then you will be over the moon. If the feelings aren't mutual then you know and can try and get over him, with his support.

I hope this helps..

[Arneldo]

Thanks for advice peeps. I tried to tell him last night, but didn't. I might try and tell him. Maybe if I just tel him and get it out of my system it will die down. Cause it's driving me up the wall atm.

[Arneldo]

I'm going to see him tonight, and I'm drinking so I cant be held responsible if I pour out my feelings to him

[Arneldo]

Havent been posting here a lot lately, bascially been feel really down recently. Not myself. Keep crying, like all the time. Broke down in class twice this week and had to ask to leave. My mates keep asking whats wrong and I just have to keep saying "nothing worth talking about, I'll be fine". They've been worried about me and have talked to my dad - who know whants me to go talk to sombody.

[xDramatick]

I know how that feels :\ I felt exactly the same for a straight best-mate for almost 2 years.

I hope things get better, I know how difficult it can be and I'm always here if you want a chat.

Perhaps if you tell him how you feel. It won't remove your feelings but might make you feel a bit better. I know it's hard but if he's that sound then he should be fine with it. Still, easier said than done, I know. Telling him would help, it helped me with mine and I'm over him now and have been for a while.
If he turns out to be bi, go for it! [who wouldn't want you as a love interest ;D]

[XxShortyxX]

Awwwwww hun *hugs* you know what this sounds like don't you? the JP and Craig thing in Hollyoaks lol. Well I know how you feel, we have all been there, I was like that with this girl I really liked, again she was straight, in the end I told her how I felt, and I felt so much better for it, it was like a big weight was had lifted off me. I really think you should tell him how you feel, you will feel so much better after, and as long as you tell him whatever happens you still want to be best mates with him it should be fine, it could be that he may like you, you never know. Well whatever you decide to do, good luck babe.

[*mazedsalv**]

The best idea is to tell him, but i agree that he will probably distance himself, but Im sure this will go away in time, but I cant really be a judge on that. Hope you feel better soon!!

[JOSHUAH!]

Its a shame your feeling so down Arneldo, it sounds like your all worked up about it and just the worry has made u sensitive and upset all the time.

I've never been in the situation so I cant really give any advice, except just to try and calm down more or something, and whats making you more worried is the fact this boys a friend so you're worried if you told him he may back off from being your friend?

But you've got to keep in mind he was always supportive when you said you were gay so maybe if you just told him you liked him he might not react as bad as your thinking?

I hope everything works out anyway

[*mazedsalv**]

Originally posted by XxShortyxX
Awwwwww hun *hugs* you know what this sounds like don't you? the JP and Craig thing in Hollyoaks lol. Well I know how you feel, we have all been there, I was like that with this girl I really liked, again she was straight, in the end I told her how I felt, and I felt so much better for it, it was like a big weight was had lifted off me. I really think you should tell him how you feel, you will feel so much better after, and as long as you tell him whatever happens you still want to be best mates with him it should be fine, it could be that he may like you, you never know. Well whatever you decide to do, good luck babe.

I was just about to mention Hollyaoks too lol.

[Bells]

I really feel for you.

I can't give you advice from a first-hand perspective, but I understand how it feels for your emotions to constantly be going up and down. We're going through a difficult enough phase as it is, let alone having to deal with all this relationship business!

I think in part your friend is at fault in a way (even though he won't see it like that), because telling you that he's bi "just to make you feel better" when it in fact could not be true is just giving you false hope. I think you need to try your best to move on from this situation rather than lingering on to a tiny bit of hope, although that of course is easier said than done.

The crying and feeling down will continue as long as you let it... which although sounds odd, makes sense if you think about it. I agree with those who are telling you to talk to somebody - is there nobody at all you feel you can confide in? Sometimes talking and getting things off your chest - in whatever manner - can be so therapeutic.

All I can suggest is keeping yourself busy and just getting on with it, and in time you'll heal. It's an uphill struggle to start with, but it's one of those things you have to endure in order for things to get better. I hope everything goes well for you. xxx

[Arneldo]

Its not even just the whole me fancying a mate thing now, I've just been thinking a lot, perhaps too much. I thought I was proud and confident with who I was, but recently Ive realised I'm not. I know I'm gay, and I cant change that but recently I've jst felt it would be sooo much easier if I wasnt.

But today I went cinema with my mate, and all I wanted to do was - and this is going to sound sooo stupid, but - hold his hand. Like, just being with him. And I know I'm coming across as sme love-sick-stalker but I cant help it. I've wanted to tell him - so many times, but it wont happen. I physically cant say it to him. I'm too scared that we will just stop being mates all together if I do. I dont think it's a risk I'm willing to take, tbh.

Thanks for the advice peeps. Even though I dont know you all - it already feels good to just got stuff off my chest and have people listen.

[XxShortyxX]

Originally posted by Arneldo
Its not even just the whole me fancying a mate thing now, I've just been thinking a lot, perhaps too much. I thought I was proud and confident with who I was, but recently Ive realised I'm not. I know I'm gay, and I cant change that but recently I've jst felt it would be sooo much easier if I wasnt.

But today I went cinema with my mate, and all I wanted to do was - and this is going to sound sooo stupid, but - hold his hand. Like, just being with him. And I know I'm coming across as sme love-sick-stalker but I cant help it. I've wanted to tell him - so many times, but it wont happen. I physically cant say it to him. I'm too scared that we will just stop being mates all together if I do. I dont think it's a risk I'm willing to take, tbh.

Thanks for the advice peeps. Even though I dont know you all - it already feels good to just got stuff off my chest and have people listen.

Awwww, you are defo not coming aacross like a love-sick-stalker hun. At the end of the day you can't help how you feel, and don't you feel like for one minute that being gay is wrong, or you should be straight, because babe you are gay and should be proud of who you are.

I know it's easy for us all to say you should tell him ect, but do what you're heart is telling you to do, as I said whatever happens tell him you still want to be mates.

[rayheartbliss]

ahh..

[Spike]

Bad situation.
I don't know if it would be a good thing to tell him because it could end up in you losing a friend
Just bide your time and it might come out that he is bi, if it does then you can make your move, if not you still have a very good friend

[MrGaryy]

Originally posted by Arneldo
Its not even just the whole me fancying a mate thing now, I've just been thinking a lot, perhaps too much. I thought I was proud and confident with who I was, but recently Ive realised I'm not. I know I'm gay, and I cant change that but recently I've jst felt it would be sooo much easier if I wasnt.

I think most gay people have been there. I know I have and the only way to deal with it is to face up that yeah it would be a hell of a lot easier if you weren't gay but you are so there's not much point dwelling on it.

[hannah.]

Originally posted by Arneldo
Its not even just the whole me fancying a mate thing now, I've just been thinking a lot, perhaps too much. I thought I was proud and confident with who I was, but recently Ive realised I'm not. I know I'm gay, and I cant change that but recently I've jst felt it would be sooo much easier if I wasnt.

But today I went cinema with my mate, and all I wanted to do was - and this is going to sound sooo stupid, but - hold his hand. Like, just being with him. And I know I'm coming across as sme love-sick-stalker but I cant help it. I've wanted to tell him - so many times, but it wont happen. I physically cant say it to him. I'm too scared that we will just stop being mates all together if I do. I dont think it's a risk I'm willing to take, tbh.

Thanks for the advice peeps. Even though I dont know you all - it already feels good to just got stuff off my chest and have people listen.

about the hand holding thing, i get this a lot when I really like someone, and it's horrible because you know you cant

try not to be so upset all the time, if you think about it, you can make yourself feel sad and make yourself laugh so just try as hard as you can to be positive and happy, although by this i dont mean for you to hide your real emotions, just try to cheer yourself up a bit.

find out if he's bi. and then if he is don't say I LIKE YOU as soon as he says yes, leave it a while. so you can be 100% sure about it.

good luck babe, stay happyyyy

[Arneldo]

Thanks peeps!

Was out last night, quite drunk and I told him. He was sober, don't know if that makes it better or worse but I cant remember anything else after I told him. I couldn't even look at him. I'm now facing the awkward texts about last night - but I dunno what to text him. Also got the chance to confide in my best mate about the whole thing after which was good to get things off my chest. I thought it might make things better telling him I liked him - but atm, I feel even worse and totally confused.

I hate being a teenager

[pinkmichk]

its gonna be a huge revelation for him and for you too you will go through many mixed emotions and wondering if you did the right thing but the fact you are getting texts says to me that he isnt gonna throw away your friendship

[Arneldo]

Bumping this cause I would really appreciate more advice.

Yesterday at a new years "party" (there was like 7 of us), my mate was flirting really bad with this girl we know. I thought I was kinda getting over him but I knew when I saw him that I wasn't over him at all, and instead my feelings are probably stronger now. I just got so angry - but not at him or her, at me. I was angry at myself for being upset at him flirting with her, and angry because I liked him to begin with.

I said to myself that in 09' I was gonna be happy, after having such a shitty few months, yet 3 mins in 2009 I found myself wondering around and area I didn't know crying like a 5 year old girl.

Last night after he went home and as I was walking home I text him and just said that I didn't want to see him for a while because I had something I needed to sort out, and he just txt back "no prob". I didn't want to see him because I have to get over him.

Today as soon as I woke up he was all I could think off but I had nobody to talk to and just ended up going out on a walk for 6 hours. I can't stop thinking about him and it's driving me mad. Walking home I actually walked to his house and was so close to knocking on his door and just telling him bu I couldn't.

He text me bout an hour ago to tell me that he actually likes the girl that we know, and he wasn't just kissing her for fun. And I text him everything Ive felt today, and he rang me but just to tell me something completely unrelevent to anything.

I'm so confused and I just can't do anything today. I'm scared that I .. ekk .. love him. I dont want to. I like our friendship and don't want to ruin it at all, but I dont think I can be friends with him while I feel this way about him. I can't just watch him cop off with girls and not react to it, I can't help it.

I dont know what to do! And I have nobody I really feel I can talk to about this.

Please, advice?

[\PJ/]

God,i hope you get things sorted out maybe you should just tell him.

[Billy]

I don't think anything anyone has to say is gonna help, and I know this is gonna sound way cliche, but I think the only way things are gonna get better is if you give it time. It all sounds really bad atm I bet, but in time it'll get easier to see him, and eventually with someone else.

I hope that helps :\