[Sod_James]

I had quite a strict up brining by my parents. I was allways told

- Only speak when you are spoken to
- Children should be seen and not heard

And my parents smacked me as a child. and it probably has shaped me into the person i am today.

Do you think its best to be strict with kids. Would you be strict with yours?

Just a thought.

xxx

[pinkmichk]

my parents were quite laid back but did teach all manners etc plus i was smacked
i am quite a laid back mum but in same breathe i wont have no attitude or being naughty

[NettoSuperstar!]

My parents disciplined us and I got smacked occasionally but the old seen and not heard my mum hated all that, we were included in everything they did

[Tom]

They were quite laid back but were strict when needed. I think that way when you do get shouted at or whatever it makes it more effective

Children should be seen and not heard is not right imo.

[30stone]

My parents would always be quite strict on what i should be doing what time i stay out til doing homework etc.

But they were always good because they trusted what i said so form like year 8 onwards if i got like after school detention and i felt i didnt deserve it.. they would go to the school and and say im not doing it n that lol.

[Novo]

Originally posted by Tom
They were quite laid back but were strict when needed. I think that way when you do get shouted at or whatever it makes it more effective

Children should be seen and not heard is not right imo.

LOL

it's like something from the 18th century

[supernoodles!]

Its debatable really....

I was always aloud to stay out til whenever I wanted,they had no problem with my older bf,i could wear whatever I wanted,drink at a young age,was given money 90% of the time when i asked for it,did next to nothing aroudn the house,was never severely punished for misbehaving at school.

Yet on the other hand,I remember not being aloud to cross the road at the front of our house or go to the shop with my friends up the road until I was like 11 lol.I was brought up with manners and to treat other people and thier property with respect.I always knew when to speak and when to listen.I was never aloud a bf to sleep over or to sleep at theirs until I was 18.I was NEVER aloud a day off school,unless I literally couldn`t walk!

So I guess a bit of both really,but looking at it I think they weren`t really strict at all ,they wanted me to have fun and they let me but at the same time they wanted me too be safe.

[Ninastar]

Yeh i think the parents really need to be strict. If they werent, supernanny would be so busy.

[AngRemembered]

It was always assumed my parents were strict, untill I became a parent myself, and compared situations with my past with today's standards.

One of the qualities of there parenting that I experienced. and was standard back then was giving attention to good and proper behaviour.
My parents were together at almost EVERY parents evening, and sports day events. They supported us(my sisters and brothers) through all our homework each night and encouraged us to join out of school clubs and groups.
They knew where we were each minute of each day and took genuine pleasure when we got things right, the most horrible punishment we got back then was having NO attention at all from Mom or Dad.

There was no sitting in your room alone watching TV, there was no play alone computer games like today, you had to involve someone and most importantly, you had to make an effort or you'd lose there attention competition was hard so being careful what one did with proper care was always considered.

Now it seems kids only get attention when police or social services turn up, and even middle class doctors would rather go for dinner than take there kids with them, all in the knowledge if things do go wrong people will find excuses.... sorry reasons why standards are so sloppy now.

My parents wern't afterall that strict, they just had a good sense of right and wrong and they got the important bit right

They made sure we were well rewarded for being good, not excused for being bad

[NettoSuperstar!]

Yeh I agree there parents dont just need to discipline their kids, they need to spend time with them and include them in their lives as much as possible. everyone needs time out but theres maybe too much of that going on and kids are kids the end of the day, if they dont get positive attention theyll play up to get it. If theyre neglected they will grow up damaged by it and carry on the cycle with their kids.